He's Just Pine-ing for the Fjords
}} Roy descends to the Prime Material Plane to check in on Haley and his corpse. Cast * Roy Greenhilt (also as spirit) ◀ ▶ * Haley Starshine ◀ ▶ * Belkar Bitterleaf ◀ ▶ * Niu ◀ ▶ * The Flumphs ◀ ▶ * Isamu ◀ ▶ * The Ghost of Lame Monsters Past Transcript Flumph #1: Look the travel guide said that the political climate of Azure City was "safe for monsters". How was I supposed to know they meant only Evil monsters? Flumph #2: And so we're stuck wandering around a bunch of caves under— Ghost of Lame Monsters Past: WoooOOOOoo! I am the Ghost of Lame Monsters Past! Flumph #1: Ahhh! RUN! Flumph #2: How?!? Flumph #1: OK, hover faster, then! Ghost of Lame Monsters Past: Yes, flee, mortals! No matter how "cool" monsters may become, they can never escape the ghost of my existence! Ghost of Lame Monsters Past: Tremble in fear at my embarrassing presence in older editions! I am an unstoppable— Roy drops on the Ghost of Lame Monsters Past: "GHOST SPLAT!" Roy: Hey, nice! No damage! Ghost of Lame Monsters Past: Truly, my torment is eternal... Roy: Looks like we're all tied up at Ground: 1, Roy: 1. Roy: Wow, it's dark in here... but I guess my body is around here somewhere. Roy: Really, you'd think I would get some sort of bonus on my Search check for literally trying to find the back of my hand. Roy: Ah, there we are. Geez, I look horrible. Roy: Not really the way I expected things to turn out when I linked Belkar's Mark of Justice to my position, I admit. Roy tries to interpret the smells, "sniff! sniff!" Roy: Actually... you know, my body doesn't smell half bad. Sort of a pine scent... Roy: You know, one really doesn't expect their own rotting carcass to be so...fragrant. Roy: Hey, I wonder if this means my crap really DOES smell better than everyone else's... Roy sees a +5 Air Freshener of Pineness on his corpse's leg Roy: Oh, no, wait—I see it now... Roy: But that just makes me wonder where they possibly got their hands on a— Flashback to earlier in the resistance. Haley presents a plan to steal a pine-scented car freshener while Roy's stinking corpse is being eaten by flies. Haley and Isamu have masks over their mouths while Belkar is wearing a clothespin on his nose Haley: —and then we pop out the grating, climb up into the goblin cleric's private bathroom, and swipe the +5 Air Freshener of Pineness. Haley: However, I must warn you that Operation: Neutralize may be the riskiest mission we have ever— Niu: It's worth the risk! Belkar: It's worth ANY risk! Isamu: Can we go right now? Trivia * The title is a play on a quote from Monty Python's famous Dead Parrot Sketch. * This is the only appearance of the Ghost of Lame Monsters Past, who continues the Flumph's running gag of getting squashed by falling PCs even when Roy is a spirit. External Links * 526}} View the comic * 71057}} View the discussion thread Category:Haley Leads the Resistance